charlesdutton:

i think it’s so neat that everyone develops their own unique handwriting even though we’re all taught to write our letters the same way really it’s so cool

  • student: can i borrow a pencil
  • teacher: i don't know, CAN you?
  • student: yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning, being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

"You don’t need to explain your dreams. They belong to you."
— Paulo Coelho (via tamhiddleston)
tagged → #words to live by

lamapalooza:

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

  • person: OMG YOU DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST???!?!?!
  • me: nope
  • person: BUT HOW ARE YOU GONNA PASS???
  • me: i'm not

i’m a sad, pathetic excuse of a human being

nikehime:

i see a lot of people spending time thinking about “who tops” in their otp when they should be thinking about

  • who quotes twilight at the other person
  • who appreciates cat videos more
  • who spent a hellish summer working in the worst gamestop you can imagine
  • who lets the other person win in ticklefights
  • who chews on their pencil
  • who’s the person who accidentally thinks of their grandparents one time while they’re making out and kills the mood

officialunitedstates:

hetaliagirl104:

officialunitedstates:

things I know about brazil:

  • jungle
  • jesus statue

The Jesus is statue is in Rio, you uneducated swine 

image

bagellie:

benefits of being friends with me

  • shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
  • shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them

justgo-up:

thousands of flower petals covering a town, blasted from a neighboring volcano, in Costa Rica.

agentsofoakenshield1701:

If Richard Armitage had a tumblr account the most overused joke in the Hobbit fandom would be “There is one I could follow, there is one I could call king”

"There’s a brief moment when you first wake up where you have no memories, a blissful blank slate, a happy emptiness, but it doesn’t last long and you remember exactly where you are and what you are trying to forget."
— (via psych-facts)
Tom Hiddleston at the Oliviers Awards 2014